Hard reset!
The first few weeks of CGA has felt like a hard reset.
What does it look like if some of the things that we thought were bad, we turn them on their head. They can be some of the things bringing us the most intimacy with the Father, with creation, with the church, and with the people around us.
The bad turned good, failure, pain, and brokenness.
Brokenness. I am broken looking to be made whole. I don’t like the idea of being broken, because it means something is wrong with me. But that has been out of my control since the day I was born. When I hear you have been made whole in Christ I find comfort, but is it because I am hiding my brokenness in Christ. What if just as Christ meets me in my brokenness, He walks along side me through all the brokenness. He doesn’t just take me to the top of the of the mountain straight away. Is that a bad thing? as one of the teachers puts it “we are a master piece and a work in progress at the same time.” Being made whole is a life time process. We have to work out our brokenness just like our faith, with fear and trembling. I’m not perfect ,I am chasing after the one who is.
Pain. When I feel pain it is a sign that something is wrong, or not the way it should be. When I get my feelings hurt or feel that something is off it doesn’t me I should push those feelings to the side grow a thicker skin and get on with life. It means stop and look at why did that hurt, did that hurt because I am upset with this person, or is it because I was hurt Past tense and they pulled the trigger on that emotion. Than finding the root of where it all came from, and processing it and working on forgiveness
Failure. This one is a big one I stink at. You may have think how can you be bad at failure, let me tell you . I have avoided failure in my life with a passion. A few different ways. Trying so hard to make everything be in my control so it’s impossible to fail, failing and than never trying that thing again because it must be something I am not good at if I failed, Or even avoiding trying altogether so it couldn’t happen. All to avoid failure. Well I got hit up side the head failure is an inevitable part of life. I am A Failure!
But that’s a good thing. It’s a great teacher if we evaluate, observe, and interpret our failure, and aren’t scared of it. It’s in my brokenness and Failure God does his most beautiful works. When all the things of the world are cleared away and it is just me and God. “He must become greater, I must become less.”
We did an event at AIM on good Friday called stations of the cross. It was different artist take on Jesus’s last hours of life. There was one painting done with charcoal of Jesus being beaten, mocked, and crowned with thorns. As I was looking at the piece all I could think was that they were stripping away His humanity. but He was more than a man.
If someone was to strip away my humanity what would they find? Would they find nothing or would they find Christ. It’s just a thought, And this was all the first two weeks.
